I Passed!

After a very long, difficult semester, I finally got my grades back, and...I passed!! Even better than that, I got an A, A-, 2 B+ and a B. 14 credits and working was difficult, but I did it. Thanks for all the support you have given. It has been very appreciated and needed.

Once

I once was outgoing. I once was funny. I once smiled because it was how I felt. I once was strong.

Once upon a time, the world I knew broke. Once upon a time a new day was a new fear. Once upon a time, I was directionless, lost in the world, and scared.

Today I am building again. I do so slowly, carefully, and with extra caution. Still, the world I face holds many fears, insecurities, and the pains of lonliness. Have you ever wanted the attention of someone so much that when they finally give it, all it brings is tears, fears, and another fall.

Once I felt acceptance and love and friendship. Once I didn't fear every word I spoke would hurt me or those around me. Once I had confidence. Once I was brave.

Once I was.

Here we go again!

My second semester starts tomorrow. I can't believe I'm doing it again, but it will keep me busy during the summer, and ease some of the pain for the fall. I'm pleased with the outcome of the last semesters grades, so I believe I can push onward with this one.

Easter

I've been thinking about this great celebration of Easter. What a great and blessed event this word represents. What a great and glorious blessing the Resurrection is! A couple of years ago I had the greatest visiting teacher, and for Easter she wrote me a small note with her testimony that the tomb is empty and that Christ lives. I keep that posted in my room. What a strength to my testimony and blessing of love that note has been. Recently she posted her gratitude for the Savior. I go back often to read what she wrote. Her words bless me with the Spirit every time I read it, and what a strength it has been. So, as we celebrate this Easter season, I would like to share with my friends that I too know that He lives. He loves us. He knows us in ways that even we can't know ourselves. He took upon Him all of our sins, our sufferings, our sorrows, and only He can fully understand the struggles we endure in this life. I have had a really hard year, battling depression, trying to find worth in this person I am, screwing up over and over again, hurting others who have loved and supported me. I am trying to find healing, and know that it is through Him that I can, in time, be healed. I am grateful for the many nights he has spent holding me in his arms, lifting the pain in my head and my heart. I am grateful for Him. He lives. He lives! HE LIVES!